It’s always early in the mornings when I think about you. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of you. Why am I doing this to myself?
Everything ended so ugly. All those memories I have with you haunt me. Maybe because I never did that kind of stuff before. I never opened myself before to anyone like that before.. and it bite me in the but. I never EVER said words like that before. My words were true and filled with happiness. My tears were filled with worry and fear. I even said I was scared how I had feelings for you.. And this is why. Because everyone leaves. No one stays with someone complicated like me. I wouldn’t blame them.

My little cousin is in my room, building a tower full of pillows and blankets. Playing with Carlos. So cuuute 

Today, kind of slept in till’ my bestfriend Chantelly called me. Went to her house and had a cute movie date. Later, Charles eventually came over. Went to go get ice-cream and they took me home. AFTER, I came home to my cousins home and my grandma with a new cage for my guinea pig! My brothers and cousins all fixed it for me and I let them named it.. And his name is CARLOS MCFLUFFYSTEIN.. Sounds weird but it actually matches as a Carlos and I like it. So, who cares? 
BEST. BIRTHDAY. DINNER. EVER. 
My cousin is actually really supportive about this whole week and tried to make me feel so much better. Haha, it was just great and I’m glad I got it on video.
I love the connection I have with my family right now. I never want it to change!